So, no one that I speak with can understand how she can sit in my house for 5 days without going anywhere. Now that she's done throwing away all my rugs, rearranging my furniture and practicing on my house becoming an interior designer, what is she doing all day?
I determined, she's having a party in her head. All her agreeable friends have joined her at my house.
(My version of what goes on in her head)
Crazy Woman: "Hm, I should throw away this rug because it has black in it and black brings bad luck"
Voice #1: "Good Idea"
Voice #2: "You're a genius"
Voice #3: "You should be an interior designer
Nicole: "WTF DID YOU DO WITH MY RUGS"
CW: "They were ugly, you need new ones. Black is bad luck"
Nicole: "Black? it was tan with black trim"
Voice #1: "Hisssss....booooo....black evil."
Voice #2: "That rug is why you got divorced"
CW: "Poussin, you need new rugs"
Nicole: "So go Effing buy me new rugs"
CW: "I can't because I have no money."
Nicole: " Then why the F did you throw my rugs away?!"
Voice 1: "Your daughter is unappreciative"
Voice 2: "Doesn't she know you don't want her house to be surrounded with bad luck?"
Voice 3: "Black is EVIL"
You see...a whole PARTY came with her when she arrived at LAX. This isn't just my mother here. This is a slumber party of a bunch of Crazy Moroccans. Weeeeee!!!! No wonder I'm drinking heavily every night.
hahahahhaaaaaaa, at least it's providing unending entertainment for your friends!! Hilarious recap. Are you hooked on US of Tara yet?
ReplyDeleteVery funny stuff, reminds me a lot of my own mother, who for some reason finds a reason for everything to justify her very twisted opinions. well written, thanks for sharing. :) <3
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