Sunday

"kneee-cole, why aren't you a brunette? You are a beautiful brunette."

UM PEOPLE, WTH is the color of my hair? Dark brown. Right. I am a brunette.

Also, did you know that by having a black leather coffee table that it's morbid and I'm asking for bad luck? I was taught today that all the black in my house (I have nothing black except curtains in the master bedroom and a black leather coffee table) that I am asking for bad luck. I guess that bad luck is following me because of my damn coffee table. It has NOTHING to do with the totally mentally unstable husband and everything to do with the black coffee table.

It's 5pm and I just opened a bottle of wine. I can't do this much longer. Countdown is 2.2 days.

She's going to file the documents tomorrow for the divorce. I'm so relieved. I cannot wait to be done with all of this crap.

But, this blog is about the crazy mother not my divorce. She's C-R-A-Z-Y. She decided to kill the weeds outside. Not the correct way, either. I wanted to lay down the weed cloth and she decided to buy some gnarly poison to kill the weeds. Great mother. Try to kill my dog.

OH! I almost forgot. My mother called my orthodox Jewish cousin to pray for me. Yes, she placed the call because she thinks that I need to be prayed for by my ultra conservative and religious cousin. Wouldn't I have to believe in this stuff in order for the prayers to work? If not, then I'm game. Pray away, people.

Also, she wants me to repaint my walls a bright color. The colors in my house are "too dark, Kneecole". Did you know that with small spaces you're not supposed to have dark colors? Well, too bad my colors AREN'T DARK. I have a taupe in my dining room. TAUPE PEOPLE. Desiree helped me pick it and I can assure you that it's a good color.

BUT, don't forget, she wants to be an interior decorator. So, she obviously knows best because "She's the mother".